Saturday, May 9, 2009

For my mom

Dear Mom,

I approach this Mother's day with a bit of wistfulness. It is only in my recent years that I have realized what a valuable asset that you have been in my life. However, it is not that all of the sudden you have become the wise woman that you are; you have been this way my whole life. I have come to realize that I have been spending the past several years trying to tell you what I should have been telling you my entire life. In my childhood I should have been thanking you for the countless hours you spent wiping my tears and making me laugh. I should have thanked you for all the lunches you made me and all the clothes you bought me. I should have thanked you for waking me up in the middle of the night when I was coughing to make me drink a little bit of lemon juice. I should have thanked you for pulling my hair in a pony tail when I was sick and putting a wet rag on my neck. I should have thanked you for all the thought you put into Christmas and Easter and how your excitement for holidays was contagious. I should have realized that it was not the things in our house that made our home so warm, but the love that permeated each room. I wish at the time I could have thanked you for punishing me and pushing me. I wish in my teenage years I would have thanked you for having discernment when it came to my friends-you were always right. I wish I could have thanked you for all the dance hairstyles you paid for. I wish I could have thanked you for making me clean my room. I wish I could have thanked you for being strong for me when I was crumbling under the weight of teenage angst. I wish I could have thanked you for loving me when I was less than lovable. I wish I could have thanked you for modeling the importance of giving back to others.
Now that I am grown, I guess I will spend the rest of my life trying to thank you for being the definition of a mother. The older I get, the more I realize how it is only by God's grace that I was born into our family. I know that not everyone is so lucky. It is extremely humbling.
Mom, the older I get, the more I realize that thanks is never enough. Thank you for giving me your eyes. Thank you for giving me your excitement. Thank you for raising me with a love for others. Thank you, mom.

Love, your daughter