Tuesday, December 30, 2008

walking the walk

My brother is pretty much the coolest person I know. He is one of those people who not only talks the talk, but walks the walk. He is always thinking of ways to share God's love with everyone, and I am not talking just the people that he sees in daily life. I am talking about "the least of these." The people that most people just walk by without giving a second glance. Yesterday, Matthew was in Dallas with the cousins going to a hockey game. As he was walking into the game, he saw a homeless man getting ready to bed down for the night, and knowing him, without hesitation, he gave the man his letter jacket saying, "You need this more that I do." I can't help but believe that my Lord is bursting with pride for his son, my brother. I know I am.

Monday, December 22, 2008

The pants: A tragedy told by the wearer

Once upon a time, a girl had a baby. Although the baby was beautiful and sweet, she wreaked havoc on her mommy's body. With a sigh and a last longing look at her old jeans, the mommy gave in and went on the hunt for jeans to accommodate her "post mommy size." She searched high and low. She was beginning to get discouraged when she felt the pull toward American Eagle. She entered the store very skeptical, because she felt long past the days of being able to sport the eagle. Just when she was about to give up, God smiled on her. There on the shelf, was the perfect pair of jeans. They fit perfectly and best of all, they were on sale. It was a glorious day.
Fast forward to Hurricane Ike. The mommy and her precious girl were visiting a friend. The mommy wanted to look cute for lunch out, so she put on her special jeans. The two friends had a wonderful day. When they got home, the mommy decided that she wanted to help her friend by doing a little straightening. She bent down to pick something up, and she heard what sounded like fabric ripping. Incredulous, she bent down again, and sure enough the jeans ripped all the way down the backside. The mommy tried to laugh it off, but she was secretly devastated. She knew she had gained some weight, but the jeans weren't that tight. When she got to her own home, she threw the jeans into the dark recesses of her closet.
Two months later, the mommy pulled the jeans out. As she wiggled her fingers through the hole, she decided that she was not going to stand idly by; she was going to fix the jeans (not herself, of course). She took the jeans to a tailor who promised her great things. A week later, she returned to the tailor who charged her a nice chunk of change for self confidence. Once again, she put on the jeans and felt like she could take on the world.
A week later, she noticed a small hole forming on the front of her pants. She fretted and fussed until her husband cleverly repaired the hole. She breathed a sigh of relief, because she had a big lunch the next day that she wanted to look special for.
The next day she pulled on her jeans and headed out the door. When she arrived at the restaurant, she noticed that she had a few minutes that she hadn't factored in, so she meandered around Hallmark in search of some happys. When she got into her car, she heard the strange sound that she had only heard once before. She immediately knew that something had gone horribly amiss. She looked down at her pants and saw her upper thigh peeking through. "Oh no!" she thought. "What am I going to do? If I go home now, I will be very late for lunch, but if I go to lunch, I risk public humiliation." She thought about it for about half a minute. The answer was clear. Lunch was too important to miss, and after all, this would make for a great story. So, she pulled into the restaurant, called Nanny Kelly for replacement pants, put a smile on her face, braced herself and greeted her friends.
When she finally had time to contemplate the strange turn of events, she mourned the loss of the jeans. Somehow, they had been doomed from the assembly line, but that did not make the mommy feel any better about her fate. She felt God was trying to teach her something through her loss, but she did not know what. She still does not know what, but she does have new jeans. And, they are hole free.

Friday, December 12, 2008

a case of the blahs

I would like to shout lots of obscenities right now. I have had a long day, and I don't feel good, and right now the land under the couch (aka no responsibility) is looking so enticing. I want to run away from home and come back when...well, I don't know when right now. I want to go to bed tonight knowing that I get to sleep in as long as I want, but that will never happen. Sometimes, being a mom totally sucks. Friday used to be the golden day. Now, sometimes I stay at school a little longer because I know that when I go home, I have another job to do. This afternoon, I had my feet propped up on my desk taking a break with my nose in a book, and one of my co-workers walked in and said understandingly, "Getting in some reading before you go home?" As sad as it is, the time after school is my time. There are evenings when my keys feel so heavy, because I am already tired and I drag my feet because there is no escape from reality. It's not that Zoey is a hard baby, quite the opposite. She is the embodiment of joy most of the time. I think I am just exceedingly selfish. I was looking at a picture of a friend with her little boy, and she just glowed with the love of motherhood. I feel like the only thing that has changed about me since I have become a mother is that I have extra bags under my eyes and fat on my ass (and everywhere else for that matter).
Right now, I am just aching and cold, and annoyed at John who is annoyed right back at me. Tomorrow will be another day, where I will look at my breathtaking little girl and love the blessings that God has so generously bestowed on me. My life is tiny, but it is sweet. Tonight, I yearn for something bigger. I might shed a few tears, but tomorrow I will slip my life back on like my favorite pair of flannel pajama pants. Tomorrow.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Herself the Elf

Kelly and I had some fun this evening with Zoey's "night cap." It goes with her pajamas, but really, she will be wearing it everywhere. She looks too cute in it. In the spirit of the season, some might even say like an elf. When John got home, he decided that she needed a little gangsta life.