Monday, June 9, 2008

Birthday Boy

Today is John's 28th birthday, and he does not seem that old. I am currently watching him play Guitar Hero. When I was young, 28 was old. Even now the number is scarily close to 30. I always told myself that I would not let age have any affect on me, but the older I get, the more my determination is overshadowed by my fear of aging. It is not the actual number, it is the growing up. Anyone who thinks that kids are the only ones who have growing pains are just crazy. Mine have never given me respite. I think that the thing that scares me the most is one day waking up and not being able to recognize myself. That realization really hit me this morning while working out on the elliptical machine (that's right, folks. I was working out-deep fried pigs wings anyone?). I was experiencing a state of paranoia because I lied to the gym telling them I was in college in order to get a 3 months membership. My paranoid self kept asking "What if you see someone that you used to know? They might give me away!" I had to halt on the elliptical machine for a minute as I realized that those I used to know probably wouldn't recognize me anymore. I hardly recognize myself sometimes. The changes in my life have left scars on me in the form of wrinkles and extra weight. However, as I sped back up on the elliptical, I realized that if wrinkles are scars, then not all scars are bad. My favorite scars are around my eyes. Some call them crow's feet, but smarter people call them laugh lines. Mark Twain said it best when he said, "Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been." If that is the case, then I guess I must have smiled a lot, and when I think about it, I have a lot of things to smile about. I am watching one of them play Guitar Hero right now.

2 comments:

The James Family said...

Hi Ashley-
Just wanted to tell you I enjoy reading your blog. You are a really good writer. I told Christie that I read your blog regularly. I had fun hanging out with your sister this past weekend. She really loves Zoey a lot. We saw some pics on her phone. Glad things are going well for you. I had some postpartum depression too (a lot of it having to do with breastfeeding not working out). I am really enjoying motherhood now--I think a lot of it has to do with getting a full night's sleep!! :)

Suzanne (Kimmel) James

Jenn=) said...

Our husbands should be friends