Saturday, October 10, 2009

Okay Nick Jr., we've had enough

I hate Dora the Explorer. There, I said it. I know that she is a much loved symbol to children everywhere, but she is SOOO bossy and loud. The girl never says please. She shouts all the time. She is offensive to all my senses. I can't stand her voice. It is grating and caustic. I can't stand the way she looks. Her eyes are so big and freaky, and if they move any further apart, they are going to fall off her face. Nothing she wears matches. And sometimes, you catch glimpses of her midriff. What a skank. Today, she told children across the world that one of her destinations was a river infested with alligators, essentially giving kids the "go ahead" to play with alligators. Thanks Dora. You have signed the death warrants of hundreds of innocent, naive children. You have pretty much wiped Louisiana off the map.
As much as I hate Dora, Zoey loves her. That is her favorite show. Today, she was sitting in her highchair eating dinner when Dora came on. She practically clawed her way out of the chair when she heard the song start playing. And when the part came that said, "Swipper no swiping!", she, who had contorted her body into unnatural proportions trying to catch a glimpse of her beloved heroine, promptly replied "Aw, man!" In that moment, I died a little. I'm not sure my sweet little girl will ever be the same. If she starts demanding that I "Say backpack! Say backpack!", I may break the TV.

2 comments:

Misty said...

Amen and amen. I've been saying it for years now. I got away with no Dora for the longest time until they started watching it at the school and it was all downhill from there. Worse is having to play "Dora and Boots". Blech. I tried methods of distraction and mostly ignoring it the best I can and it seems she is finally losing interest so maybe there is hope. Diego is her man now and he is not as bad. I guess.

Funny story. One time Audrey was talking back to Dora, who was being bossy as usual. She said "I SAID ____ Dora!". When I giggled at that she turned around and said with her usual authority "I was talking to Dora.".

heather said...

HAHAHA! I agree totally, although I will say there are worse ones than Dora out there. Preview everything at least once and you can steer them away from most of the annoying ones. Unless they go to your parents and are allowed to watch Yo Gabba Gabba...and then you want to break your parents.