Wednesday, July 8, 2009

I am so frustrated!

Just when I think I am feeling good about putting Z in daycare, something makes me second guess myself. I hate that! I just don't know what to do! I want to do what is best for Zoey. I know that nobody can care for her like I do, but I want the second best thing, and I am now doubting that is daycare. I know that they have a curriculum that they will teach her, but she has thrived so much under one on one care. She is such a happy kid. I don't ever want her to wonder if anyone cares about her. If she needs a hug, I want her to be hugged. If she needs to be changed, I want her to be changed. If she needs to sleep, I want her to sleep. What am I going to do????????????????
On another level, I just feel like a bump on a freakin' log these days. It is so hot outside-too hot to play (but also hot enough to eat ice cream everyday). So, Z and I just hang out inside all the time. I wish I had something stimulating for her to do everyday, but there are only so many things we can do without spending a small fortune. Maybe I should start teaching her an excersize routine so we can work out together. She would probably really like that. She is such a dancer. I mean seriously, I can sit on the floor and play blocks with her, but honestly, that just gets old after awhile. It is not like we are constructing the Taj Mahal or anything. We pretty much just take the blocks out and put them back in the bucket. Sometimes Z rocks the boat by putting the bucket on her head, but that can only last so long. So, again I am faced with the question, what do I do?
I am hitting a mid summer mommy low, and filling my void with ice cream, while delicious, is only making things worse. I want to hide my head under a pillow. Most of all, I just want someone to tell me what I should do. I need a life coach.

2 comments:

Mommy said...

Can't wait to see you tonight. We'll chat! I wish I could do something for you. I really do!!!!

jenn and sean said...

Well Ashley I am so sad to hear you so frustrated. I know you have a tough decision. It sounds like you've done an amazing job with Zoey so far and I know that you will do the right thing for ALL of you. If you're really bored you and Zoey could go scope out a few places to get out of the house and that might set your mind at ease, especially since you could kind of see how she would react. She sounds like a social butterfly so I'm sure she'd enjoy it.