blarf

i decided in the sake of trying to hastily relieve my annoyance with myself that i would not capitalize anything. i am thinking about leaving out punctuation too, but that is probably going too far. i had such a good time with the Lord yesterday, and i even talked about it this morning at bs. however, one evening put me two steps back. i was wasting time looking up people from high school on facebook, because apparently i am twelve, and so many people seem to be leading exciting lives. i am forever comparing myself to other people. why do i do that? it is always going to make me feel bad about myself. all the sudden my life is small and pitiful. my dreams are not redirected but dead. is all this true? no! God has simply led me down a different road. tonight that is a painful thought. tonight that is too heavy. but, i am right where God wants me to be. and sometimes, when i allow myself to take my eyes off of my heavenly goals, the tiny enormity of my life comes crashing down. reality? i have a heavenly father who knows my name; he knows my passions; he is using them to minister to other people whether i know it or not. it is so good to know that it would be presumptuous of me to assume that God is not using me for his glory. he does not need my permission. okay, I feel better now. I knew that I needed to put things in perspective. I would hate living in New York anyway. The only thing that would make this better is a little attention from my husband (wink, wink).

I heart the 80's

In keeping with my party planning ministry (or just excuse to party), my friends and I planned an 80's themed birthday party for two great girls. When my girls go all out, they go ALL OUT. It was, like, so much fun! I mean, fer sure! I love my friends so, so, so, so, so, so much!

All the girls

We forced the birthday girls to take the "cutting the cake" pose. It was classic.

I'll never look at twizzlers the same way.

Our best Romy and Michelle

Do you know what it means to miss New Orleans?

I am often drawn to places that seem to share my spirit of celebration. New Orleans certainly is a place where the party never stops. John whisked me away over the weekend to join the celebration. I soaked in the revelry as we walked down Bourbon Street. I love to hear the roar of crowds. I often think it is more fun to view the party from the outside. It is all the cheer without the regret. The music permeating the streets was intoxicating enough for me. I adore jazz music.
New Orleans, however, does not seem to share the aforementioned sentiment. She is a city in a constant state of recovery from year long hangover (her trees are laden with beads faded by a year's worth of sun exposure); her remedy of choice seems to be hair of the dog as each night was a little wilder than the last. Or, maybe it was simply that we boldly ventured a little further down Bourbon each night.Although heavy lidded from the late night, New Orleans is a city with just as much to offer her daytime patrons; those whose "poison" isn't necessarily of the alcoholic persuasion. It was quite an experience, and thankfully, I will remember my trip much more clearly than most of the people who travel there.

7 Quicktakes Friday

I got this idea from a friend, and since I always have random thought floating around in my head, here it goes:

1. My kiddos were absolutely insane today! I charge them "tiger tickets" (tickets they collect as rewards and can buy stuff with) to get out of class on time. Usually it only takes two threatened tickets to get them quiet; today it took 5. That is A LOT!!! I wanted to strangle myself. I think I even told them that they made me want to hang myself. They thought it was funny.

2. Yesterday Zoey took two steps in a row. It was so exciting. Today she took a whopping 0 steps. I had every expectation that she would be zooming around the house by now. She is hardheaded.

3. I bought this book called I Can Make You Thin. I saw an ad in my junk mail from B&N that said "Do you want to be thin?" I said, "Yes I do" and clicked the ad. The book said it could make me thin, so I bought it without hesitation. A big deal for those of you who know me. Mainly because it comes with a hypnosis CD. I want to lose weight, but I don't want to work very hard, so maybe if I am hypnotized I won't notice what I am eating. I keep thinking back to the movie Office Space when the main guy tells his friends that he is going to a hypnotist about his job. His friends give him some grief about it, and he states that the hypnotist worked for his girlfriend's weight loss. One friend says, "Peter, she's anorexic." Peter says, "Yeah, the guy is really, really good." Not that I want to be anorexic, but a little discipline would be nice.

4. I finally took my wedding ring in to be sized this week. I kept thinking that my hands would go back to normal, because you never really think about gaining weight in your fingers. I have managed to gain weight everywhere. I hated not having anything to wear on my ring finger. I wore lots of different rings, but nothing quite made me feel married. I decided that while I was at the jewelry store I would buy myself a thin white gold band to wear while I wait for my ring to return. It sounds funny to be getting one now, but I had one before that fell down the sink at a bed and breakfast that John and I were staying at last year. I was devastated. Anyway, as soon as I put the ring on in the store, I felt elated. I stuck my ring finger in the air and sang a little tune. I did not realize how important it is to me to carry around a symbol of my marriage to John. When I put that ring on, I felt more like a woman again too. It is funny what one small ring can do for a girl.

5. Yesterday, Jack decided that he would attack Daisy. He does this often, because he is quite literally the devil, but yesterday it seemed like Daisy decided to attack back by losing as much hair as possible in the process. (When cats get mad or fight they lose chunks of hair.) I guess Daisy thought she could use a diversion on Jack. If she lost enough hair, maybe he would think another cat had entered the kitchen and he would lose his focus on her long enough for her to sneak away. Like a little black phantom. Too bad it didn't work. I wish I had a picture of this phenomenon. Daisy probably lost a pound of hair. Okay, maybe that is an exaggeration, but it felt like a lot when I was cleaning it up.

6. I think God is beginning to reveal to me that party planning is my spiritual gift. I just really like hosting parties and planning outings for my friends. I recently co-planned a 30th birthday party for a dear friend, and it was such a rush. I can't lie, I loved the praise I received for the party, but even more, I love how special it makes the guest of honor feel . My friend said that she got really teary, and I was so overjoyed that she felt so loved. I appreciate my friends so much, and I feel like everyone should be celebrated. One of the ladies at school jokingly calls me the "cruise director." I feel like God has given me this spirit of celebration for a reason, and I am still trying to figure out how to really use it for his glory, but it is exciting to know that I CAN use my joy for his glory. God is so good.

7. Nanny Kelly has been such a blessing in my life. Not only because I know that when I am gone that Zoey is in the best hands possible, but because her family has even fallen in love with her. They are such wonderfully loving people. I am so lucky to see Christ's love radiated through people just doting on my daughter. Being a parent gives you a whole new perspective of how God views his children and how he feels about us. It is awesome. I really feel like Zoey has three sets of grandparents. Mrs. Karen (KayKay) and Mr. Greg are so wonderful to my sweet girl. I especially love how Mr. Greg is just so taken with her. Everything she does is just perfect and wonderful. It shows me how much he must adore his own two girls and how much he must love being a dad. I ate dinner with them tonight, and I was in heaven. I just love, love, love that family.

2008-A year in Review

At the request of a friend, and because I am grossly procrastinating, and because I am trying to resist the temptation to eat lots of chocolate, and because John is forcing me to watch a Larry the Cable Guy movie, I would like to take this time to reflect on the previous year.

Let's see, 2008:
Rang in the new year by growing a baby in my body
Was showered with gifts and blessings by dear friends
Gave my unborn child a built in legacy when I picked her name
Gained entirely too much weight
Met my bug for the first time
Lost a lot of sleep
Fell into a black hole
Met (or was reunited) with a friend who not only helped pull me out of the hole, she put on many hats for my family
Took my bug swimming
Celebrated five years of marriage with my darling in San Francisco
Moved the bug upstairs
Started getting more sleep at night (HALLELUJAH!)
Received the perfect job
Fell in love with 6th graders
Celebrated 27 years of life with my nearest and dearest
Was infuriated with 6th graders
Took a little Chinese girl trick or treating
Gave thanks for my family
Put some miles on my running shoes
Became Santa Claus
Shopped/Ate/Slept in the new year with two of my favorite ladies

Okay, there it is. It was a bumpy year to say the least, but it was full of blessings and lessons. It is a year that I would never want to re-live, but one I will look back on with fond memories. I have several things that I want to leave in 2008, but "I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." (Phil. 3:14)

Lookin' fine in 2009, baby!

The glory of the bug

Please oh please check out this blog about my little baby bug. It makes me laugh.