Yesterday I was in one of our many meetings, listening to how we can close the achievement gap between the different groups of kids in our schools. It was a really good conversation. I was relatively interested. I mean, it was my nap time, and I was kinda thinking about how I wanted to get a pedicure, but all that changed when one of the assistant principals brought up something that actually shook me to the core. On the board he wrote "WHO?, WHAT?, WHERE?, WHEN?, WHY?, HOW?" Being an English teacher, I have taught that over and over, but he was about to teach it to me in a completely different way.
He looked at us and said, "How many of your kids know who they are? They might say I am__________, I am a boy/girl, and I am X years old." They might even go as far as tyo say they are an athlete or a Christian or a musician, but that is not enough. Could you say who you really are. I mean think about that question for a minute. I did. It really bothered me that I didn't really seem to like what my answer was. This is who (I think, correct me if I am wrong) I am: I am Ashley. I am 28 years old, and I am and I am a woman. I am a wife to John and an mother to Zoey. I am a follower of Christ although not as strongly as I should be by any means at times, this being one of those times I think. I am obsessively afraid of throw-up. I am very selfish. I love holidays. I love teaching, but I am only mediocre at it. Not much of an original thinker. I love to read. I'm proud of my family and my friends, although I don't always show it. I am not just a wife, I am a friend to my husband, and I love my husband passionately. I rely on him too much sometimes I think. I am a person who longs to be better stuck inside a person who is too afraid and too lazy to do anything about it. Oh yeah, and I am also really honest about myself.
So I sat in this meeting on the brink of tears realizing that I was not sure I wanted to face the reality of who I was, because if I did, I may not like it. But I guess we all have to do some unpleasant things sometimes. I guess now that I have it in writing, I can work on it. I looko at the list and I am little overwhelmed. Maybe I'll start running or something. Physical fitness seems to cover a multitude of sins.
This has really got me thinking. I am doing WHAT next.