Okay, so it's been awhile

I just haven't had the time or the brain power to come up with something to write, but I have this weird nagging relationship with this blog where I feel like I owe it something. Like it is a person or something. Or more like a mother heaping guilt on me for not calling, or in this case writing. So, I guess I will take some time to make up with my blog. Sorry blog.
Things around here have been pretty calm. Charlie is a wonderfully snuggly and happy baby. After the storm that was Zoey, it is a nice change. God is having a good laugh at my expense right now, because of course he knew that we needed another baby and of course he knew that it needed to be a boy. Two things I have pretty ticked about. But here we are almost 6 months later in baby boy bliss.
Zoey loves her little brother with a passion that puts her father over the edge most days. She wants to hug and kiss on him constantly. I have to really watch myself to not say over and over "Get off your brother." or "Get out of his face!" I know she is doing it because she watches me hug and kiss on him all day, and let's just be real here, so is me made over. I did the same thing to my little brother.
The transition to stay at home mommy has been fantastic. I LOVE staying home. I mean, there are definitely days when that girl makes me want to cut my own ear off Van Gogh style just so I don't have to listen to her say "Mama, mama, watch this!" one more time. But, being at home is just so peaceful and I'll admit, fun. I get to hang out with some of my favorite people on a pretty regular basis. Now that I am at home, I really just want everyone to be at home (ahem, sister).
Being at home has brought many of my shortcomings to my attention-like my incredible selfishness with my time. So often Zoey want me to play with her and I make an excuses like she needs to learn how to play by herself. I just get so tired of thinking of three year old activities or pretending to cry (because that is what she really wants me to do). I just want to decide what I am going to do and when I am going to do it. Is that too much to ask? For a three year old, yes, yes it is.
I have a few more thoughts rolling around in my head, but they are somewhat unrelated to the topic at hand, so they are for a different time. However, I think I will be calling on this blog a little more often these days. Hopefully.

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So bored

I am so bored. We have been watching TV all day long. I cannot stand doing that, especially having Zoey do that. I feel like a bad mom. I really want to make the most of the next couple of days before Charlie is born, but I guess we will just sit here and continue to watch TV...just like we do every day. I did get to go get a pedicure, so at least I will have nice toes for the arrival, should it ever really come. I ama starting to think that Charlie is going to hibernate forever, and that is not okay with me. I have been really blessed and had a pretty easy pregnancy, but now he has made his home in my pelvic bones, and that is pretty uncomfortable. I am sick of being pregnant. End of story. And I want one last adventure before I never have any more adventures, especially because John gets to go to Paris in about a month, actually less than a month. It is for work, but he gets to go two days before he actually has to be there and in the evenings, he will be a free man. And he will take advantage of that. He will come home with lots of pictures of the city and tales of eating wonderful food and roaming the city streets pretending to be a native. And I will be here with only a three year old and a two week old to keep me company. Am I pouting about this? Absolutely. Oh well. There isn't anything I can do about it. I guess my only option is to watch more TV. Yippee.

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Happy birthday, Zoey!

My baby is three today. I really can't believe it. She is getting so big-filling out, losing the belly, long legs, the works. She is also getting quite a little attitude, and I can't imagine where she gets that from. That girl is one drama mama. But there are so many things to love about her too. So in honor of her birthday, here is a list of a few of the many reasons I love the bug:

1. She always notices things you are wearing and wants to know where you bought them.
2. She also wants to know where you bought things that didn't come from the store (i.e. She lifted up my shirt one day and said,"Mommy, I like your baby. Where'd you buy it?")
3. Sometimes she like to pretend that she is the mommy and I am the "honey." She adopts this high little voice and says things like "Don't worry, honey. I won't let you be scared."
4. She loves to sing about ordinary everyday things like her house and her day.
5. She is so fascinated by her baby cousins.
6. She loves to be a helper.
7. She is becoming so independent-both a good thing and a bad thing. It's pretty frustrating when we are trying to get out the door.
8. She is very concerned about your happiness, especially when it is contingent on something she has done.
9. She makes it very hard to stay mad at her when she wants you to be happy.
10. She is just so darn cute-she has the most kissable face
11. She smells fantastic.
12. She has a deep love for the men in her life and she is very loyal to them.
There are many more things I could list, but I am totally birthdayed out for the day. I will leave you with a few pictures of my precious girl.

                                                       Newborn Zoey-Her first week home

                                                                 One year old Zoey

Two year old Zoey

My big three year old girl

In desperate need

We just had a very depressing staff meeting about the upcoming budget and plans for next year. Basically, as usual, we don't have enough money. So the plan is to start teaching 6 out of 7 classes. That really got me worried, because I am only part time, and if other teachers pick up an extra class, all my classes will be picked up by someone else. In short, I will have no job. I talked to my assitant principal about it first, and she very kindly said that she did not want to lie to me and I should be worried. She told me that I really needed to start looking at my options. I'm not really sure what that means other than looking at other campuses, which is devastating to think about because I have never worked anywhere but AMS and I love it here. So, I came back to my room and called John and cried. Then my principal came in and pretty much said that he didn't really know what was going to happen, but he would keep me informed. I think that is about all anyone can promise right now. But no one is going to know anything for awhile. So for now I live in limbo. John did say that we would make it work if I wanted to stay home, which doesn't sound too bad, but as hard as my job has been this year, I really like working. I adore my mornings at home with Zoey, but it is a nice break in my day to go to work. I will go where God wants me to go and I will do what he wants me to do, and I just keep having to tell myself that He will guide no matter if I like the outcome or not. But prayer for peace and patience would be nice.

Shameful return

I'm a little out of touch with everything right now. And, as much as I would like that to come to an end, I just don't see it happening. Sheesh. I wish I could just get it together. Maybe I need some 5 Hour Energy or something. A nice, dreamless sleep would help I think. So would some hormones that aren't so (literally) out of whack. And it would be nice if I could get ahold of the doctor I need to see to get said hormones back in whack. But alas, I can't. I could really go on a rant about that, but I will refrain. Even though I really want to. It's been awhile since I have made a list of things I am thankful for, and I have so many right now, especially with the holidays behind me  having lived through the holidays having just experienced the holidays. Our holiday was a bit busy, but it was great. I was really wonderful having John home with me and Zoey the first week and most of the second week. And it was great being able to be with Zoey. It made me want to stay home, but I just know that I am not cut out for it. I know that some mom are really great and have all kinds on activities and such for their kids, but Zoey and I just hang out and shop. We spend a lot of time in our pj's. So here is a little post holiday list:
82. A little girl who is bursting with personality (sometimes too much; boy can that girl be sassy).
83. A little girl who loves her family passionately. She was in HEAVEN during Christmas when all the Simpsons were together. She was the center of everyone's attention. And she decided that her Uncle Justin was her best friend, and very vehemently stuck to that-to the chagrin of her Aunt Christie.
84. Actually getting Zoey gifts that she loves. Sometimes it is a hit or miss with the things that girl is going to cling to, but the Legos and kitchen were a huge success.
85. A trip to the Bryant farm on the way home. Some friends of ours have family that lives in Kosse, which is on our way home from Waco, and one year in desperation to feed Zoey, we asked if we could stop by, and it has become a tradition. They welcome us like family and don't even mind if we interrupt their real family time (this year we arrived when some extended family was opening presents-super embarrassing). We get to ride in the back of the truck and feed the cows. Zoey loved that. She was much more brave than I gave her credit for. She usually is. I need to stop being so surprised. She is totally her Daddy's girl.
86. A great weekend away with my two favorite girls. I love our tradition of having a mother/ daughter shopping trip. It combines all the things I love-food, shopping and my mom and sister.
87. That little boy that keeps growing away in my sister's tummy. Zoey and I have been really talking about it lately, and somehow she knows a scary amount of details about childbirth. Maybe they really can remember...
88. A third birthday party that is already in the works even though it is months away. I don't care. I am excited.
89. Being able to sing with the praise team again last Sunday. I have had three weeks away due to Christmas and stupid family worship (John is the sound guys, so if I was on stage singing, Zoey would be running wild with no one to stop her). Practice last week was great. I have missed my team.
90. Hot dogs. I am thankful for hot dogs. I really love them. I ate 2 last night for dinner, and I had 2 more for lunch today. I could probably eat them for dinner again. They are so good.